Ersatz Robots

Philosophy of Mind and Graduate Philosophy Study

Category Archives: Philosophy Joke of the Week

Philosophy Joke of the Week X

The problem with conceivability arguments is that it’s inconceivable to think they actually prove anything.


Philosophy Joke of the Week IX

Once again, not a joke per se, but since it’s finals week, you’ll have to forgive me.

I find the way Canadians relate to Kant somewhat defeatist. Kant, or won’t guys?

For those confused: It has been my experience that Canadians (and one or two other english speaking countries other than the United States) pronounce “Kant” the same way they pronounce “can’t.” Obviously, it’s a bad joke, and would work better in person.

Philosophy Joke of the Week VIII

You want to hear a good philosophy joke? Well, here goes: Ayn Rand.

Philosophy Joke of the Week VII

Not so much a joke, but rather an amusing fact: Kant never lost a dance competition.

Philosophy Joke of the Week VI

I sincerely apologize for the lack of substantial updates lately, but unfortunately it’s getting to be finals time for me, and that means I have less time to devote to the blog. Regardless, I’m going to do my best to keep my promise of writing a philosophy joke every week. So, here’s this week’s:

How can you tell if someone is a philosopher? Within five minutes of meeting them, they’ll tell you.

It’s a variation off of a lot of other similar jokes, but alas, it’s all I have for you right now.

Philosophy Joke of the Week V

What do you call a bunch of philosophers all sitting in one room? An unemployment office.

It’s sad, but true, I know. Don’t want depressing current-state-of-the-economy based jokes? Submit your own joke!

Philosophy Joke of the Week IV

What do you get when you cross Socrates with an east coast rapper? A Socratic Method Man.

I sincerely apologize for that joke. Don’t want to see more of this horrible perversion of humor? Submit your original philosophy jokes!

Philosophy Joke of the Week III

There aren’t enough anti-jokes in the realm of philosophical humor. So, I present to you my cheap, horrible attempt.

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Can I get you a beer?” Descartes replies, “I think not!” and continues on to order a Chardonnay, which he enjoys immensely while sitting by the fire and playing with a bit of beeswax.

Think you can do better than me with this whole philosophy joke thing? Hit me up in the comments, or send me your joke at ersatzrobots (at) gmail (dot) com.

Philosophy Joke of the Week II

As promised, I present you with a new philosophy joke written by yours truly. I’m beginning to think this whole “original philosophy joke every week” deal will be harder than I imagined. I also think it’s possible I may offend some sensibilities in my pursuit of the funnies. If this is ever the case, remember: it’s just a joke, and you can always yell at me in the comments. Anyway, onto this week’s joke…

Q: What did one p-zombie say to the other?
A: “Braiiinnnss… are necessary but not sufficient for consciousness.”
Q: What did the other p-zombie say back?
A: Nothing, because they don’t exist and are not actually conceivable without begging the question.

Philosophy Joke of the Week I

I’ve decided I’m going to do my best to write and deliver a philosophy joke every week. I promise they will be quite bad. If you feel like submitting one of your own, be assured it will likely be better than one of mine. Anyway, here’s my first attempt:

What do you call a philosopher who does not believe in the existence of dumplings? A pierogian skeptic.

For those who don’t get it: Exhibit A and Exhibit B.

Also, the 21+ version:

What do you call a philosopher who does not believe in the existence of italian beer? A peronian skeptic.

Explanation for the teetotaler.